The Fair-Voiced One ([info]musecalliopeia) wrote,
@ 2009-05-31 13:38:00
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Current mood: panicked

I. Have. Fucking. Had. It.

Here I sit, less than 24 hours away from my 37th birthday, and my mother has cut me off. Oh, I'm not homeless (yet), and I still have internet/phone/TV (thank gods, or I'd *really* lose it), but I've been eating ramen for a month and a half (once a day) and my mother thinks that the best use of the very little money I have left (call it $10) is to go down to San Jose (bus, train, light rail) so that I can miss my phone call with Patrick and spend the evening with my mother, grandmother, sister, brother-in-law, and their two children.

I am currently only able to take the barest minimum of medication for my psychological disorders (not to mention my chronic pain issues) because guess what? My mother now says (after promising to take care of me after she lost my second health insurance plan) that she cannot afford to help me out anymore, and so the county is going to have to take care of me.

If things don't work out in a big, big way within the next couple days, I am going to have to move to Canada. And I'm not joking.


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[info]mamabeast
2009-06-01 12:22 am UTC (link)
ok have you tried getting social security disability/ SSI? i can help you even though i'm in PA. you can get ssi in a very short period of time while they rule on ssdi. you get medicare and foodstamps fast also.

and hey if we need to you can get the bus to pa and live on my futon. fandom cares for our own.

yyou email me if you need help and we'll do thingson IM

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]musecalliopeia
2009-06-01 02:55 am UTC (link)
I've been fighting for SSI for six years. I'm trying to get my local representative involved, because she's got a lot of pull or something, but the problem is that I've got all these different problems pulling me in twelve different directions, (not to mention the fact that I'm at a chronic pain level 9 pretty much all the fucking time when I'm without pain meds, where all I wanna do is curl up in bed and not move - multiple chronic pain is a bitch and a half).

Maybe the biggest part of my problem is where I live - I've heard from so many people on the East Coast that it's "no big deal" and no big wait to get aid, whereas *here* there's a three to six month waiting list just to get in to see a primary care doc. And that's *before* I get in to see the pain specialists.

But, yes, help and support is what I need, even if it's just an ear sometimes. I'm so fucking isolated that it's not even funny..... *tries to stop crying*

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[info]eponine82
2009-06-01 01:58 am UTC (link)
OMG sincerely, if there's any way I can help please let me know......I even have family in Canada if you need a place to stay I'm sure I could hook you up! *hugs*

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[info]musecalliopeia
2009-06-01 03:58 am UTC (link)
Thanks, sweetheart. I appreciate it. *big hugs*

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[info]phillipalden
2009-06-01 05:30 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry things are going so badly for you right now. I hope something changes for the better, no matter what you have to do.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]musecalliopeia
2009-06-01 05:46 am UTC (link)
Thanks, honey. I really appreciate it. Your advice has been invaluable - things are just.... becoming intolerable.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
hug
[info]elvenwolfcub
2009-06-01 09:05 am UTC (link)
your in CA? email me I can see if I have some info to get you help. psychoelvenwolfcub@yahoo.com

(Reply to this)


[info]athaliah
2009-06-01 07:02 pm UTC (link)
After talking to a friend in Canada, its sounds like that moving to Canada not a good option eithor. Come on, they turn away pregnant women at the border so they don't give birth there cause its a drain on their healthcare. Apparently if your not a citizen, you can't get health care there easily.

Then again, I just heard a horror story of someone trying to get a hernia repaired and it took over 8 months for the surgery because there was more urgent surgery being done.

It sounds like your mother is losing her mind, and has lost touch of reality and her responsibilities that she gave her word on in the past. From the new infomration, it sounds like she's trying to get you to just go far far away so she can start her life over. Being blood only goes so far, at one point you have to go, "Why am I putting myself thru this torture as this is causing me mental stress and am getting no benifits of being with family. "

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[info]musecalliopeia
2009-06-05 01:26 am UTC (link)
I could've sworn I responded to this comment....

I *AM* a Canadian citizen. I was born there. That makes me Canadian for life. And it means that I can get the help that I need there.

As for my mother.... why do you think I'm thinking of leaving?

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